Parent, stepparent, child, stepchild. Sometimes being in a blended family may feel chaotic and maybe even miserable when family members are not getting along. Blended families take time and work to be successful.
Here are the different stages on average take four to seven years to go through.
Stage 1 Fantasy - “This will be fun and I’ll have great kids."
Stage 2 Immersion - The fantasy fades and issues arise.
Stage 3 Awareness - Family members can verbalize what is not working.
Stage 4 Mobilization - Parents work as a team and dedicate themselves to making it work.
Stage 5 Action - The family knows that they will make it.
Stage 6 Contact - There is authenticity between stepparent and stepchild.
Stage7 Resolution - Family feels whole.
Tips in bettering your blended family life are:
- Let the stepparent establish rapport and trust with their stepchild. This is more easily done when initially the bulk of the parenting is done by the biological parent.
- Verbally appreciate the good things that the stepparent is doing. Try to ‘catch the stepparent doing good’. Magnify the positives and minimize the negatives.
- Try not to compare how children are
treated differently. Remember the biological
parent already is invested in the wellbeing of their child. It will take time and work for the stepparent
to feel the same way about your child.
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